


A Troublemaker's Reward

by ImaniJoain



Series: Unlikely Singularities [35]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-22
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-05-16 18:02:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19323286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImaniJoain/pseuds/ImaniJoain
Summary: Barnes has always been a sucker for protecting punks with big blue eyes and earnestness oozing out of their pores. Doesn't matter if it is Steve Rogers in 1931 or Joey Lewis-Rogers in 2021. He won't have to lift a vibranium finger, however, not with all of the people jumping to back him up. It's a good thing Barnes and company are looking out for Joey, because Steve has his hands full for the moment with Darcy.Takes place June 5, 2021





	1. The Importance of Being Earnest

**Author's Note:**

  * For [biblioworm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/biblioworm/gifts), [kattabaker (katttewks)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/katttewks/gifts).



> This was inspired by comments left by kattabaker and biblioworm and others. Thank you all so much for your support and inspiration!

**June 5, 2021**

 

Barnes heard the sniffle before he even had the apartment door open. He went on high alert. Looking for intruders, he eased his way into the entry, and only relaxed when he heard Evelyn in the living room.

"Shh, it's okay, _chiquito_. We'll make another, even better than the old one."

"But Mommy said this was her favorite, ever ever, and Hannah said it was my fault for drawing in Mommy's office! She was so, so mad and Mr. Tommy had to ask her to leave!" The sniffles became more pronounced sniffles, followed by a hiccup.

The whir of his arm made Barnes realize he had clenched it. And his jaw. He breathed out slowly, knowing he would need to calm down before he explained to Darcy's intern - precisely and with small words - the appropriate way to speak to a child. And thanked Tom for his intervention. He shook out his shoulders and made sure his steps were audible as he walked into the room.

"Evelyn, do you know where - oh, good thing you're here, buddy. Just the person I needed to see."

Steve's kid looked so much like the punk it hurt. Big blue eyes, surrounded by long lashes spikey with tears, blinked up at him from under a thick clump of blond curls. He turned in Evelyn's arms and wiped his face on his sleeve.

"Uncle Bucky?"

"Sam bet me five dollars I couldn't make a better pencil cup than him. And if I'm going to win, I need an expert to help me. Whatdaya say?"

"Okay," the kid wiped his face again and slid to the floor, his Hulk tennis shoes blinking green. "But you gotta be nice to Uncle Sam when you win. Be a good...a good sportspeople."

Barnes knelt down and opened his arms for a hug. "Thanks, buddy," he said softly. "I knew I could count on you."

Evie helped Joey wash his face while Barnes had Friday ask Stark if they could come borrow craft supplies. He also sent a quick text to Sam explaining the situation. Stark immediately responded in the affirmative, and when Barnes and Joey arrived at the penthouse three Starks were eagerly awaiting their arrival. Well, Stark and Eddie looked eager. Maria had the more resigned acceptance typical of a teenager expected to help supervise a couple of pre-schoolers. Stark had remodeled what had been a breakfast nook into a play area for Eddie, and Maria took charge of the boys, leading them over to the craft supplies and helping them pick out what they would need.

Stark asked Barnes for help getting everyone a snack and wandered into the kitchen. As soon as the glass door into the playroom closed, the older man spoke up.

“I heard about the incident with whats-her-name. You haven’t made her cry yet?”

“Figured I would save that for closer to end of business,” Barnes replied quietly, well aware of how sensitive Joey’s ears were. Stark had soundproofed his place, but if the kid wasn’t engrossed in something, he could probably still pick up tone. Thankfully, Maria had him concentrating on selecting just the right colors of modeling clay. “Friday give you a heads up?”

Stark snorted, arranging water bottles and cut vegetables on a tray. “Yeah. And Tommy. And every other person in the office. Except the one who does the charity schedule. Grace? Ginny?”

“Simone.”

“Pretty sure her name is Gertrude. She called Pepper. Oh, and that security guy that wants to play doctor with your wife. He was patrolling the Yinsen floor when Evie came down to get Joey. You think this is enough for him?” Stark gestured to the bowls of carrot sticks and celery, but didn’t wait for an answer. “No, you’re right. Peanut butter. Maybe some carbs. Growing super soldiers need milk. Actually, I don’t think Ed had any milk today, yet. Friday?”

“He has not, Boss. And may I say, Sergeant Barnes, I apologize for not preventing the situation in Ms. Lewis’ office earlier. I alerted Mr. Stark, but I should have acted sooner. I have updated my parameters to include a more active observation of the children, even on secure floors.”

  
“Thanks, Friday. It’s not your fault, but I appreciate your consideration.”

  
Tony snorted. “Lucky I got on top of this before Pepper. She wanted to fire the world’s most clueless intern. I intervened and got her sentenced to a week of sensitivity training – unpaid – and then she will be getting fired. See if she terrorizes another kid again.”

  
Barnes furiously pushed down the warmth settling in his chest to gruffly murmur, “Thanks, Stark.”


	2. A Woman of No Importance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I woke up this morning worried, because I had forgotten to set out milk and apple pie for Captain America so he would defend my freedom. Luckily, Steve Rogers is a much better person than Santa Clause. Without bribery, he punched Nazis, did a few thousand pull-ups, and went out to buy his own cookies like a real capitalist. 
> 
> Happy Birthday, Steve. I forgot the pie, but I got you a little something else. Enjoy opening your present.

**June 5, 2021**

  
“Do you think we should check in?”

“I am never leaving this bathroom.” Darcy leaned against the vanity, a teak and stone construction that both oozed luxury and implied a connection with nature. It was a complex fixture. She examined her hair and makeup in the mirror as she washed her hands. “Seriously, Steve,” she called out through the partially open door. Your shower should be jealous of this shower. If it could see this shower, it would develop self-esteem issues.”

Steve’s voice continued around the partially closed bathroom door, “I know we said we wouldn’t – but Sarah was still a bit crabby when we left. Do you think Buck will remember to give her the duck-shaped cold pack? I told him not to freeze it, just put it in the cold zone, but the twins always liked things frozen when they were teething and-”

“I’m sure Sarah is fine, Steve.” Darcy fluffed her hair. Her makeup was still on-point. Thank the gods for lip stain and waterproof eyeliner. She reached into her carry-on bag and pulled out a dark blue lace bra. It plumped and lifted like nobody’s business, but it also rubbed her inner arms raw – which is why she had worn the cream colored, soft, shapeless mom bra on the airplane. Darcy glanced out the bathroom french doors – because the vacation spot was an anniversary present from Tony, so of course the bathroom had french doors – at the vibrant greens of tropical plants and the sliver of white sand and blue waters beyond. Now was not the time for comfortable mom bras. Now was the time for uncomfortable lace contraptions and sheer matching underwear that would be torn and left languishing on the bedroom floor.

Darcy experienced a full body shiver of anticipation.

“Evelyn is there. Evelyn remembers everything. And the twins will keep Sarah so entertained she won’t have time to be fussy,” Darcy soothed. Her yoga pants and tunic fell to the floor, followed closely by less than sexy undergarments. In the flattering light over the vanity, the stretch marks along her lower belly and under her breasts were barely noticeable – just a bit shinier than the rest of her skin. Darcy took a minute while she did a quick sponge bath with a damp cloth to turn and look herself over.

She was a full cup size smaller than she had been before she had Joey; but as Jane had pointed out, she still had considerably more in the chest than most women. And it was far perkier and firmer than she had been since puberty. Evelyn believed it was one of the benefits of blood transfer during pregnancy. A tiny amount of serum – barely enough to maintain a steady level – had entered Darcy’s bloodstream and given her fractionally faster healing and better skin elasticity. _Still have to wear glasses though, boo hoo._

Giving birth to super babies had done more than just shrink and firm up her boobs. Super babies had super appetites, so nursing had burned off her pregnancy weight within a year.

She was satisfied that Steve would be pleased. More than pleased. Lascivious. Darcy pulled on the blue bra and a pair of panties that made it obvious she had used her “errands” late the night before to spend some quality time with strips of hot wax. He was still fretting in the bedroom as she brushed and fluffed her hair.

“Do you think Tony remembers Joey is going to sleep over tomorrow night? I wanted it to be a special surprise for the kids, but what if Tony gets sidetracked by something in the lab? I should text Pepper, don’t you think? Yeah, I should, just real quick and maybe I’ll let Evie know to check on-”

Darcy threw open the bathroom door, posing against the wall in a way that she knew emphasized all her best features.

“I’ve got something you should check onnnn...is that cheesecake?” Darcy dropped her pointed toe back to the floor and stared.

There, on the middle of the bed, was a creamy looking cheesecake edged with blueberries and swirled with a dark syrup. Upon closer inspection, the syrup was cursive writing. It spelled out, “Happy Birthday”.

“It isn’t my birthday,” she managed. It was a stupidly obvious thing to say, but Darcy was surprised she managed consonant sounds and not just a _ooooo_ – wheeze. It demonstrated what an eloquent and intelligent person she was that she could see unexpected delicious cheesecake and say anything at all. It was a shock. Only slightly more shocking, and considerably more interesting, was the way it was displayed. The cake was in an open pink bakery box, arrayed on Steve’s lap.

Steve’s very naked, extremely muscular thighs and abs framed a tasty dessert.

Darcy licked her lips.

“Is that, uh,” Steve was not nearly as concerned about the kids as he had made himself sound. If the path of his eyes and the way he had to shift the cake around was any indication, he had been putting on a show about his need to call home to distract her. And now she was distracting him. Darcy ordered blood to flow back to her brain and smiled the sultry smile that she knew made Steve weak.

“Uh,” he continued. “You’d be expecting cake on your birthday. This is a surprise.” His eyes fell back to the quarter cup bra that put everything she had on display. The cake twitched. “Surprise?”

“Mmmm.” Darcy strolled to the end of the bed, rolling her hips and brushing her hands along her belly and waist. Steve’s eyes followed the movement, the centers growing larger and darker with each step. “No surprise birthday party is complete without a few games. Do you want to play a game, Steve?”

“Sounds, uh,” the cake twitched again, “fun. Sweetheart, when did you buy that-”

“Shhh.” Darcy put one knee on the bed, spreading her legs a little and tilting her upper body forward slightly. “Two lies and a truth. If you win, you get a sweet treat.”

“And if you win?” Steve’s voice was low and dark and made Darcy’s inner muscles clench. Liquid heat slicked her bare skin and began to dampen her new panties.

“I think I’m in the mood for something salty.”

Steve nodded, and gripped the edged of the bakery box as if to move it. Darcy leaned far enough forward to get one finger on the edge. He groaned, his eyes fasted below her face. Power and desire hummed together in her veins. The bra had cost more than Darcy had ever spent on lingerie before, but the designer had promised it would keep everything _just so_ no matter how much she moved around. Totally worth it.

“Better keep that close. In case you win and want your treat.” Darcy winked. The cardboard box warped under one of Steve’s hands.

“Lies.” She licked her stained lips and rolled her eyes to the ceiling – desperately wanting to look at Steve but wanting even more to keep him in anticipation. “Lies. Lies. Hm.” She trailed her fingers across her chin as if thinking, then down her neck and sternum. Across the inner curve of one breast. An inch from her nipple she withdrew to Steve’s audible groan. “Oh, how about this? The Czech Republic notified me that they will be making an official apology to Bucky for any role their government may have played, knowingly or not, prior to the fall of the Iron Curtain in his imprisonment. They will be unveiling a public mural next week showcasing the indomitable spirit of those oppressed under communism. They’ve asked for him to attend. I thought you might be interested, too. I know how strongly you feel about oppression.”

“I might be feeling a little oppressed right now,” he growled. His adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed hard and Darcy wanted nothing so much as to lick it.

Darcy crawled up until she had both knees on the bed, one on either side of Steve’s splayed feet. She sat back onto her heels and watched his face as his gaze traced her belly button and then down across lace-edged silk that was swiftly becoming transparent with moisture.

“Sarah said her first word yesterday while you were having drinks with Tony and Rhodey.” She lightly dragged her nails across his ankles, and then up his calves with increasing pressure, watching avidly as his muscles bunched under golden skin. “I thought ‘database’ was a strange choice, but Vision did babysit last weekend, so you never know.”

She reached his knees and leaned forward, peering at the cake and trying not to look like she wanted to throw it on the floor. Her thighs rubbed against his legs and the heat was sinful. Darcy _ached_ for more.

“Vocabulary. Great.” Steve’s voice was so deep she could barely understand him. “Gets that from her mother.”

“Jane let me borrow a few things for our vacation.”

Steve’s brow furrowed, obviously wondering what slender, tomboy Jane could have offered Darcy in the way of bathing suits or sundresses. Darcy bent at the waist - hovering over Steve and pressing a kiss to his stomach. He hissed. Another twitch sent the cake dangerously close to Darcy’s chest. She whispered against his flesh, looking up through her lashes at his flushed cheeks and parted lips.

“Jane had to special order from Asgard to make certain Thor wouldn’t be able to break the handcuffs.”

Thanks to serum-enhanced reflexes, the cake did not end up on the floor. It was severely squished, but forty minutes later as Darcy licked her spoon and enjoyed the warm, well-abused ache between her legs she decided that it tasted just as good as it had looked before Steve had launched it across the room. Maybe better. Hot lips and a graze of teeth on her bare ass alerted her that her husband had returned.

“Room service?” she asked hopefully, setting her spoon on the nightstand. Darcy turned to watch Steve shuck the robe he had thrown on to answer the door of their secluded little beach cottage. Her nipples tightened almost painfully after all the attention they had been paid recently. God, she was lucky.

“Drinks with umbrellas, as requested.” Steve, gloriously naked Steve, picked up a tray with a flourish and set it on the bed before settling beside her, skin to skin. Mojito,” he pointed to a tall, slender glass garnished with mint leaves and a dark green umbrella. The second drink was yellow and had a truly impressive number of cherries and pineapple chunks speared through an orange umbrella. “And Virgin Pineapple Banana Slush.”

Darcy took a long sip. It tasted weird at first, after her sweet cheesecake, but she quickly got over it and enjoyed herself. A shiver raced down her back as the crushed ice cooled her throat.

“You sure you don’t want to drink these out on the beach? Tony promised we have this whole cove to ourselves.”

"We can if you want,” Darcy offered. “But I wouldn’t want you to get a tan line.” Steve smiled in confusion. Darcy rolled onto her side and pulled a length of warm gold chain, punctuated at each end by a wide cuff, between her breasts. “How ever would you explain it?”

“You. Are. Trouble.” Steve emphasized each word with a kiss. To her mouth. To her neck. To the tip of her right breast.

“Good thing you like to get into trouble, huh?”


	3. Wilde

**June 5, 2021**

 

“Sar _nos despierta_.” Winnie pointed an accusing finger at the portable crib in the corner of the bedroom. She was supposed to be sleeping for at least another thirty minutes.

“Sar wakes us, Mama,” Gwen backed up her sister from where she had crawled onto her twin’s bed. Both girls were kneeling on the mattress, piles of books and toys surrounding them.

Piles that Evie had _just_ helped them pick up before nap time.

She sighed, trying to repress a smirk. “And did Sarah get out all these things too?”

Both girls nodded emphatically, their brown pigtails adorably messy from nap time.

“She want-ded-ed ‘em, Mama.” Winnie’s pale blue eyes looked up through impossibly long lashes she had gotten from her father.

“No tellin’ her nothin’,” Gwen insisted with a little smile that was dangerously sweet on her face and simply plain dangerous on James.

Evie looked over the edge of the crib. Sarah Rogers – a fat Gerber baby if ever there was one – lay face down with diapered butt high in the air. She had a large spot of drool around her open lips. Evie was both surprised and professionally interested in how serum enhanced ears could drown out the twins, but the baby slept on. The books and stuffed animals around her didn’t seem to bother her either.

“I suppose she crawled out of her crib and got all this stuff and then crawled right back in? All by herself?”

The twins shared a look. It was one Evie knew well. They were clearly deciding how much to lie and what they could get away with.

“Joey’s baby,” Gwen began with a shrug, trying to switch the blame to Sarah’s older brother. She stood up and raised her arms for a cuddle. James would have probably dropped the discussion there, but Evie was made of sterner stuff. She picked up the girl but raised an eyebrow at her sister.

“Rogers-es is stubby,” Winnie explained – not lying, but neatly avoiding having to do so.

“I think you mean stubborn,” Evie suggested. She took Winnie’s hand and lead her into the hallway.

“Zack-call-e,” Gwen slithered down her mother’s body and headed for the bathroom. Nap time was strictly followed by potty, washing hands, brushing hair, and snack.

Winnie turned in the doorway, framed by soft blue paint and creamy tile that made her baby-skin glow. James would have called her a little angel. Evie knew her girls had mischief bordering on _espíritu del diablo_ bursting out of their tiny, serum-enhanced bodies. James knew it too, but he found it endearing. _No wonder he hooked up with Steve all those years ago._

“Ya can’t do nothin’ with dem Rogeres but try to hold on and-”

“-keeps yours mouth closed so no shit gets in there.”

Evie blinked at the parroted words. The girls didn’t seem to notice that they had cursed, and were happily going on about using the toilet and chattering about what they wanted for snack. Evie wasn’t sure what to do about it. Obviously, toddlers shouldn’t say shit – Pops would have washed Evie’s mouth out with soap - but it was exactly what their father had said the week before after a particularly difficult mission had been made successful by Steve _so-crazy-it-has-to-work_ Rogers. She endeavored to try to look supremely irritated when James got home so he would feel he had to handle the language issue.

While the twins were busy, Evie went back into their room and carefully removed all the extraneous items from Sarah’s crib. The baby didn’t even twitch in her deep sleep. Evie had no idea how two people as energetic and talkative as Steve and Darcy had managed to have such a good baby. Sarah would fall asleep as soon as she was laid down in a dark room. Like a baby dolly, her eyes went closed if she was horizontal. She always woke up happy and could sit on a blanket and watch the twins play without fussing at all.

Evie suspected Asgardian magic at work.

Within an hour, the older girls had finished their snack of jimica sticks and peanut butter and orange slices. They colored at the living room coffee table until Sarah woke up and finished her own snack of chicken baby food and one orange slice she sucked the marrow from. Evie managed to get supper started and everyone cleaned up before James and Joey returned from their play date. The boy looked happy and not at all as if he was troubled by the incident in Darcy’s office.

“Smells great,” James praised as he leaned in to kiss her. Evie dodged and his lips fell on her ear. He managed to use that to his advantage, brushing his mouth against the outer shell and whispering lowly, “Can I have dessert _now_?”

Evie huffed and turned in his arms, resolutely ignoring the shiver caused by his mouth and the metal hand that was drifting low, lower, not really on her back at all.

“You have to work for dessert, _marido idiota_.” Evie leaned away as he tried to kiss her again, trusting him to support her weight. She glanced quickly over the island to check on the kids. Joey had sat down next to Sarah, letting her poke at the smears of dried paint on his arms. He was grinning while the twins talked non-stop and built a house of foam blocks around the two Lewis-Rogers children.

“Evelyn,” James murmured against her throat. He had a tone of desire and soft demand that never failed to make Evie want to push him flat on his back. She summoned her professional doctor’s face and frowned at him like a poorly listening patient.

“You have taught the girls to say ‘shit’. You will un-teach them.”

“I didn’t-” He protested, finally standing up straight but not letting her go.

“Yes,” Evie cut him off, “you did.” She repeated, verbatim but quietly, his diatribe against Steve Roger’s recklessness. He didn’t even look ashamed.

“’t’s true. You wouldn’t want our ladies repeatin’ lies, would ya’ doll?” Then he smiled. Evie sternly reminded herself that James would give her that same smile, and make good on all that it promised, even if he still had to take on the onerous task of disciplining the twins. And if she could get thirty minutes alone in the bathroom with a hot shower, new body wash, and depilatory cream he would _beg_ to make good.

She poked his well-defined chest with one finger. “No more cursing around the kids. And make sure those girls know not to repeat swear words. And keep an eye on the pork roast. It needs to rest ten minutes after the timer goes off. And make certain to finish off the potatoes with a little heavy cream. Put the vegetables in the steamer while I shower.” James kissed her. Hard.

“Daddy messin’ up Mama’s pretty hair.” Winnie’s observation could be heard even over the pounding of blood in Evie’s ears as James’ fingers sunk into her chignon and cradled her scalp.

“Daddy! Don’t be in a way! Mama’s making tay-toes!” Clearly, Gwen had her priorities straight.

James pulled her lower lip between his, gentle suction making Evie – for only one brainless moment – wonder if the kids could be trusted alone for fifteen minutes.

“You getting a baby?” Joey sighed happily. “My mommy said that’s how we got Sar-bear.”

James laughed into the kiss and Evie used his distraction to free herself. “Potatoes,” she reminded him with a smile as she walked backward out of the kitchen.

“Heavy cream,” he nodded, then licked his lips suggestively. “You sure the kitchen is the only place you need help?”

“ _Por eso el control de la natalidad es un derecho universal_.” Evie shut the bedroom door behind her without answering him.

Thirty-two minutes later she emerged with a damp braid, smooth skin, and a surprise for James under her fleece sleep pants and long-sleeved shirt. Her husband had the food on the table and was settling Sarah into her high-chair. Joey was letting the twins help him set out flatware. Supper went as smoothly as it ever did. Sarah ate anything that Evie put on a spoon and most of what got smeared on her own fists. James cut up meat for kids and managed to put away his own Evie-approved enormous portions around pouring milk and cleaning up spilled milk and answering questions about why robots did not need walks like dogs, and if a robot could take a dog for walks.

“Gwendolyn Iris Barnes,” Evie warned.

Gwen paused, leaning over Joey’s plate with half of a slice of pork roast dangling from her own. Winnie was trying to cover her own guilty face with a napkin. Evie took quick inventory. Joey had at least two servings of meat already on his plate and enough broccoli to make the Jolly Green Giant happy. His cheeks bulged with mashed potatoes.

“Do not give your food to Joey. That is yours to eat and you will eat it whether you like the taste or not. That goes for you, too Winnifred.”

“But, Mama,” Winnie piped up to defend her sister, and by extension herself, “Joey’s a growin’. He needs to eat lots for his mule legs.”

While it was true that the boy did have unnatural muscle tone for a five-year old, it was also true that Evie had made plenty for everyone and her own two children were sneaky little _monas_.

“I don’t mind, Aunt Evie. I like the pork. And your little trees are even better than Dad’s!”

“Joseph Lewis-Rogers,” James stepped in with a stern tone. How he managed to dredge up disapproval for Steve’s kid but could barely stand to put his own girls in time-out Evie would never know. “Do not contradict Evelyn.”

Evie would have pointed out that it wasn’t exactly a contradiction, and that she didn’t mind, but Joey was staring at his plate morosely and James was on a roll. The girls looked ready to mutiny.

“Yes, Uncle Bucky. Sorry, Aunt Evie.”

“Aside from that, shouldn’t girls grow up to be big and strong too?”

“’Course they should.” Joey frowned in puzzlement, as if he couldn’t figure out how his beloved Uncle could not know something so obvious. “The twins are gonna be just as strong as me someday – but maybe not so big, ‘cause I take after Dad and he says they’re gonna look like Aunt Evie – thank god.”

Evie had to turn her head away and cough into the burp rag so her laughter wouldn’t detract from the important lesson underway.

“Well,” James continued reasonably, “how are they going to get as strong as you if they don’t eat the good food their Mama makes for them?”

Joey seemed to puzzle over that for a moment, then come to a conclusion. He straightened his little spine and looked over one twin, then the other. “Sorry girls,” he said in a no-nonsense voice that was just a bit softer and higher-pitched than Steve’s. With a careful butter knife he scraped half of his meat onto Gwen’s plate and nearly all of the broccoli onto Winnie’s.

“But Joey,” Winnie began, scandalized.

Gwen stuck out her lower lip a little, giving Joey a pleading, “Please?”

He shook his head, a lock of blonde hair falling across his eyes. “Sometimes you gotta do hard stuff, to make sure good stuff happens. Like bein’ able to help me build Eddie’s inventions and keep Sarah outta trouble and tackle Cooper Barton when he’s annoying. And maybe...” He glanced at James, then quickly switched his big blue eyes to Evie. “And maybe have yummy dessert?”

“Exactly,” Evie smiled at him. James rolled his eyes and gave his wife an unimpressed look, clearly communicating that she was a pushover. Evie added pointedly, “Dessert for everyone who cleans their plate, _carino_.”

James was the first one finished.

He loaded the dishwasher, too.

 

* _nos despierta –_ _wake us up_

_espíritu del diablo –_ _devil’s spirit_

_marido idiota –_ _idiot husband_

_Por eso el control de la natalidad es un derecho universal._ \- This is why birth control is a universal right.

_Monas_ \- monkeys

_Carino_ – darling


	4. An Ideal Husband

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Joey might be slowly replacing Bucky and Evie as my favorite pair to write about.
> 
> But I guess I say that for whomever I have written about most recently, so there's that.

**June 5, 2021**

 

“I love Aunt Evie." This was punctuated by a yawn - unsurprising given bedtime had come and gone an hour ago, and one small hand rubbing a belly overly full of mashed potatoes and pineapple upside down cake. And also full of a truly obscene amount of homemade whipped cream. Joey had eaten almost as much as Barnes.

"I know ya do, buddy." Barnes smoothed the blankets over a small, sleepy body, seeing another stubborn face with blue eyes and blonde hair from long ago. He smiled, both at the memory and the exhausted three and half-year old. Sarah had been down for ages; a half hour ago freshly washed twin girls had finally collapsed together in one bed. They had been so excited about having Joey stay over their eyes had closed mid-sentence.

"But Mommy says I can't marry her," this was finalized by another yawn.

Barnes snorted. "Oh, yeah?"

“'Cause you already married her, and 'cause I'm too little. And Dad said Aunt Evie needs you to keep her out of trouble." Small, full pink lips pouted with confusion. "He laughed lots, but Mommy said he should stuff it. What's _it_? And what should you stuff it with?"

Barnes had to call on all his training to keep from grinning. "Not sure buddy, ask your mom."

"Yeah." Another yawn, and eyes started to close, "It's okay. I talked to Mr. Stark, and he said he could make me an arm just like yours, so I could keep Aunt Evie outta trouble too." Barnes was torn between calling up Stark to chew him out and congratulating the kid on good planning skills. "So when you get too old for her, I'll marry her. Okay? Okay? Uncle...Uncle Bucky..."

The kid was out like a light.

It took another half hour for Barnes to calm down enough to soberly explain to Evelyn that he would have to step aside for his replacement, when the time came. He made it most of the way through without laughing.

Evelyn set down her work tablet on the coffee table with a smirk. “What’s the warranty on vintage super-soldiers? Are you sure you can make it until Joey’s legal? You’ve recently tipped over a hundred, _cariño_.”

Bucky’s laughter morphed into a mock scowl. “I think I can make it until he’s eighteen. Pretty sure by then he’ll have gotten into enough trouble of his own to stop trying to meddle in ours - he is half Stevie after all.”

"And half Darcy," Evelyn replied. Barnes raised one eyebrow, and after consideration she nodded. "Point made. But I would like it noted that no amount of trouble has prevented either your best friend or his wife from diving head first into any situation. I doubt their son will be any different."

"You sayin' I should resign myself to the notion of you leavin' me for a younger fella?" Barnes wrapped his arms around Evelyn's waist, dipping low to press a kiss to the groove at the corner of her mouth and breathe in her scent. Chocolate and spice and something new in her hair that reminded him of peaches.

“I would certainly be hard pressed to leave you for an _older_ fella.”

Barnes squeezed her hard enough to make her squeak. It was such an un-Evelyn sound and he grinned at hearing it. “I think I got a few good years left.”

"Well, if you took better care of yourself, maybe you could see one-fifteen. One-twenty, even." She let out a little hum of satisfaction when his lips traveled down to her jaw.

"'Spose I should see somebody about that? Check my blood pressure? Heart rate?"

"As your physician-"

Barnes growled, liking that she was his. His anything. His everything.

"-I strongly recommend it." She pressed her own lips against the pulse in his neck and murmured, "Not nearly fast enough. I think we can do better."

“What’s your prescription, Doc?”

Evelyn pulled away and stood, speaking quietly over her shoulder on the way into the master bedroom. “I’ll need to conduct a through exam to form a diagnosis.”

Barnes stripped off his shirt on autopilot as he followed her. By the time he had the bedroom door closed, Evelyn had disappeared into the closet. He took a moment to kick off his shoes and pull off his socks. He locked the door, then nearly crushed the hardware when she reappeared. Golden skin. Long, delicious inches of smooth warm flesh begging for his touch was on display.

Display was certainly the operative word.

A damp waterfall of whiskey-colored hair cascaded down her bare back. His diamond glittered on her finger and gold chains dripped from her ankles across the tops of her feet and between her toes. She wasn’t wearing anything else to conceal the neatly trimmed – tiny – triangle of dark gold hair at the top of his favorite pair of legs.

His brain must have shorted out.

“ _T_ _rakhni menya_.”

“James,” Evelyn drawled. Her hips rolled as she stepped toward him, one long leg in front of the other. The individual links on her high heels tinkled in the quiet of their room. “Darling.” Her fingers touched his wrist. The strength there, the competence, was more mesmerizing that even the tight nipples begging for his mouth or the damp flesh between her thighs begging for his touch. Her firm grip smoothed up his arm to his shoulder, brushing across his collar bone to the first bump of scar tissue on his chest. He shuddered, feeling that caress on every square inch of his skin.

“You know I can’t follow direction if you don’t speak my language.”

Dark eyes sparkled in the low lighting and the thick honey of her voice rolled over him, warming him. Evelyn was everything he had ever wanted and nothing that he had ever deserved but he would never. _Never_. Never let her go. He waited too long, shaken deeply by how much he loved her. Evelyn’s spine stiffened from her sensuous pose and worry crept into her expression.

“James? James I-”

“I’m an old man,” he finally managed. His voice cracked once, but he managed to get it under control as he reached out to pull her closer. Her body pressed against his and he sighed into the contact, his heart swelling along with another part of his anatomy. “My brain don’t work real well. My tongue neither. Maybe you could help me out?” He slipped his flesh hand under her hair, enjoying the cool, silky slide of it against his fingers as he ran his hand up her back to cradle her neck. He held her close with his metal arm. Shifting plates adjusted and memorized once more the curve of her spine and ass.

“Your tongue, hm? I think I’ll need to see it in action. Do you-”

Whatever silly suggestion she had next was lost in a swiftly muffled shriek as he tossed her onto their bed. She bounced once – a cloud of her scent drifting over him and seeping right into his skull. She smelled like spice and dessert. Like salt and musk. Like the woman who had pulled him out of the dull, safe monotony he had fallen into and given him life again. He wanted it – her- everything and now that he had it he would never give it up.

Barnes grabbed one slender ankle, feeling a surge of blood and heat to his groin when delicate chains shifted under his palm. He pulled her leg out high and wide, forcing himself to meet her gaze, and then deliberately look lower.

“I have a lot of kinks to work out. This may take some time.”

He only made it through the Russian alphabet and half of the Romanian one before Evelyn was making demands so loudly he had to put his tongue somewhere else to keep her from waking up the kids.

Later, as they were curled around each other and Barnes was drifting off to sleep, Evelyn patted his metal hand and murmured. “With endurance like that, _carino_ , you might see one-twenty-five.”

 

* _T_ _rakhni menya –_ _Fuck me_


	5. Sweet Satisfaction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long, but you know how Tony can be.

**June 7, 2021**

 

 

“Thanks, for having me over Eddie! And you too, Mr. Stark!” Joey waved enthusiastically from less than thirty-six inches away. When no response came immediately, Tony gently nudged his son with his knee. A subdued response was followed by a quick hug between the boys.

“You’re welcome, Joey. Thanks for coming.”

“Joey, why don’t you go put your bag next to the washing machine. Your mom and dad will be home later tonight, so let’s get all of your stuff ready to go.”

“Aye, aye, Captain Aunt Evie!” Joey raced into the apartment and Evie turned a questioning brow on Tony.

“Pirate movie,” Tony said in way of an excuse. He did not mention that the boys had watched it during breakfast, and consumed a truly unholy number of french toast sticks during the showing. He was pretty sure if a vein was tapped the kids would bleed maple syrup.

“Of course.” Evie went to close the door, and Tony saw her eyes zero in on his kid. “You feeling okay, Eddie?”

“’M fine. Thanks, Dr. Vivas.”

She nodded a goodbye and Tony and Eddie started the short walk back to the elevator.

“Dad?”

“Yup.”

“Would you carry me?”

Tony stopped in the middle of the hall and crouched down. Eddie was looking a bit pale, and sweaty around his hairline. “Got a tummy ache?”

“No,” Eddie insisted, then just as quickly deflated. “Maybe.”

Tony sighed, picking up his son and managing to hold in a smile. It was a herculean effort – the not-smiling, not the carrying, although the kid was really growing –which no one was around to see. He settled Eddie against his chest so the boy’s chin rested on his shoulder. Eddie curled one hand around Tony’s neck and let the other hang limply. With a gentle rub on the small of Eddie’s back, Tony reminded him,

“What did I tell you about trying to eat as much as Joey?”

“I shouldn’t,” Eddie mumbled into Tony’s skin. “But it was _so good_ , Dad. And it’s not fair that Joey can eat, like, all the foods and never get sick.”

“Hm. No, it isn’t,” Tony agreed. He glanced at a hidden camera and Friday opened the elevator for him. “But he probably thinks it’s not fair that you don’t have to get up and run or jump on the trampoline for an hour before school.”

“That’s just so he’ll sit still in class, Dad.”

“Yeah, but it means he doesn’t ever get to sleep in like you do.”

“Huh. I guess.” Eddie was silent until the elevator softly dinged their arrival at the penthouse. “Dad? Can we have a jim-jam day?”

Tony tried to remember if he had anything on his schedule. There was a new energy shield upgrade simulation running in the workshop, but he could monitor that from anywhere.

“Sure thing, Ed. You want help with yours?”

A half hour later, Maria, looking like she had slept under a park bench with a family of squirrels, emerged from her room. _Ah, the decadence of youth,_ Tony thought with a fond smile. She helped herself to some of the ginger ale Tony had opened for Eddie and grabbed a banana before plopping down on the couch next to them. Slowly, as Samurai Jack worked to defeat the evil Naraku, Maria cuddled under Tony’s arm and Eddie slid onto her lap. Maria’s morning breath mixed with banana and the stringent scent of her anti-acne cream for a noxious odor, and Eddie’s sharp knees were digging into the side of Tony’s thigh, but he still wrapped his arm around both kids and held them close.

Pepper found them that way, wandering in from a video conference call in her home office. Her hair and makeup were flawless, her blouse a soft pink that brought out a blush in her cheeks. Tony most enjoyed the cut off denim shorts and slippers she was wearing with it.

“What are my troublemakers up to?” Pepper smiled at all of them, leaning her bare legs against the opposite side of Tony’s lap from the kids.

“Hey! We haven’t made any trouble in at least twenty-four hours-”

“Speak for yourself,” Maria murmured, interrupting him.

Tony continued, “And I should get a reward for excellent behavior.”

Pepper laughed, “Oh, I’ll give you a reward.” She leaned down to kiss him, and Maria unsuccessfully tried to squirm away. Tony’s one-armed hug and Eddie’s weight on her lap kept her pinned.

“Ugh, gross!”

“Yuck, no Dad!” Eddie scrambled up, horrified and apparently feeling better, to wedge his hand over Pepper’s mouth. “You’ll get Mom’s cooties!”

Tony grinned, then laughed, pulling a sparkling-eyed Pepper into his lap with one hand while he held his protesting children with the other. It was exactly the reward he had desperately wanted and never known he had needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for continuing to come back and enjoy this universe with me. I do have a project I desperately need your help with - and a prompt/reward for any readers who can lend me a hand. Check it out on my blog at susan amund dot com.

**Author's Note:**

> I've been incommunicado for a while while I finished my original work, but it dropped on Amazon this week so I am celebrating with a little bit of US!


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